in Satire

We’re having an apocalypse and somebody forgot to tell me

You’d think if we were on the cusp of an apocalypse it would be on the evening news. I am puzzled as to why a segment of our population has alluded to the necessity to prepare for a revolution/survival/martial law or some other threat.

I had no idea humanity was in imminent danger from anything other than genetically modified organisms. When somebody starts fooling around with my food, it gets my attention. Given enough warning, I would stash chocolate and vodka and survive just fine. (If I’m going to have to ward off killer tomatoes, vodka is a necessity.)

These doomsday Sayers are getting spooky. Two of the most outspoken proponents of “the right to bear arms” are women. Konnie Burton and Amy Hedtke I will refrain from identifying these women by name, except they are both heavily involved in Tarrant county politics and one is an incoming member of the state legislature. Both promote “constitutional carry” of guns. This means anyone breathing can pack heat.

Tarrant County (Ft Worth to people who don’t live in the hood) is cowboy and cattle territory, so it is not terribly surprising both of these women share shoot’em up idealism.



A woman who wears boots that state “Stand for Life” and advocates unlicensed carrying of weapons has a serious credibility issue. Any woman who would wear red, white and blue boots probably has good reason to tote a gun.

I suppose if we have to fend off killer tomatoes a piece might come in handy.

If there is going to be an apocalypse/event/martial law I’ll take my chances that someone other than a mainstream reject wearing ugly shoes will announce it.