in Satire

Who Hijacked Autumn?


The calendar designates January 1 as the beginning of the New Year, but my new year begins with the first day of autumn. There is a sense of anticipation that something exciting is about to happen. Maybe it is an anniversary phenomenon of recalling the first day of school and new beginnings.

My new year’s resolutions begin in autumn. I like to discard what no longer works and try something new. It can be furniture, bad habits or leaving behind relationships that no longer work. Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday, is in sight. Autumn must be nature’s favorite season too. There is riotous color everywhere. Spring is subtle compared to the non-conformist fall show off.

It’s exciting to check out the new fall clothes. Some fashions such as Leggings are returning. They are still tacky and still being worn by women who should know better.

Retailers skate past autumn. A recent visit to the mall exposed a schizophrenic combination of Halloween, Hanukkah and Christmas featuring witches, elves and menorahs. Fake Christmas trees twinkled alongside plastic witches holding pumpkins.The visual display person is probably hiding in a dark corner of the mall gnawing Prozac.

The most beautiful season of the year has been sent to the unemployment line. Wonder if the “Occupy Wall Street” protesters would be interested in moving over to the mall to protest the hijacking of autumn?